Jokes for Laughing

The Irishman Who Crawls Home

An Irishman has been at a pub drinking all night. The barman finally closes the bar. The Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. The man decides to crawl outside and get some sobering fresh air.

After sitting a spell, soaking up fresh air, the man decides to go home. Again, falls flat on his face and decides to crawl home. After reaching his front door he stands up only to fall again so he crawls through the door and up the stairs and into bed.

He is awoken the next morning by the sound of his wife’s shouting. As the man opens his eyes his wife is accusing him of being out all night drinking again. With a shameful face he asks how she knows. She tells him the pub called to tell him to come round and collect his wheelchair.

Three Pints at a Time

An Irishman shows up in a pub one day and orders three pints of beer. He takes sips from each glass until they are empty and calls the bartender for three more. The bartender tells the man he can order one pint at a time so they are the freshly served each time. The man says he prefers to drink them three at a time because he and his two brothers always met at the pub to share stories and pints. But now the two brothers have moved away and they all decided to drink to each other’s honor this way.

After some time the barman and the regulars in the pub know the habits of this man. So you can imagine their surprise when one day he comes in and orders only two. Everyone exchange glances and think that one of the brothers must have died. Finally the barman goes to the man and asks him what happened to one of his brothers. The Irishman looks confused for a minute but then begins to laugh. He kindly thanked the man for his concern and said not to worry that out of the three brothers he was the only one who gave up beer for lent!

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